My family is my everything, my husband is my best friend and we talk about EVERYTHING! We may have gotten married really young, and had our far share of hardships, but I am so proud of us for growing together and sticking it out through all the hard times instead of giving up. I got pregnant with our first child 2 months before we graduated high school. Not the most ideal situation for two kids who had already been accepted to college, but we made the decision and we had to deal with it the best we knew how. Matthew joined the Army the fall after we graduated in 2001. While all my friends were leaving their own childhood behind to start college, I was saying goodbye to my husband of two months and sending him off to basic training. In December of 2001 I gave birth to our first child, without my husband by my side. I would learn through years of the military, that doing things on my own was just one of the many sacrafices I would make as a loyal military wife. While Matthew was in basic training and AIT I raised our son Tyler at my parents house with their help and support, the 8 months seemed to fly by and before I knew it we were moving to our first duty station in Fort Huachaca Arizona. It was a wonderful place to be, and we met some of the most amazing friends there that we are still best friends with to this day. 3 short months of living together for the first time since being a married, my husband deployed to Iraq 1 day before our sons first birthday. So if you're keeping track, that's no daddy on his day of his birth, and no daddy on his first birthday.....civilians will never understand how unbelievable hard this is on a family, and all the sacrafices soldiers make.
So, there I am 19 years old with a 1 year old baby, living on my own 2,000 miles away from my family....I don't think I would have made it through that time without the support of my very first military friend, and woman who took me under her wing from day one. Michelle (Martinez) as I first knew her, saw my husband walking our dog right after we moved in introduced herself, and was by my side from then on. I looked to her for everything, cooking tips (because she's the best cook I know) first aid tips, and many many other things!!! And in return, I would help her organize her closet and home, because that's what I was good at:) It's amazing how helpful a military community is, and I feel so blessed to experience this on a day to day basis.
After my husband came home from Iraq in Sep of 2003, things got a little (downplaying severity) hectic for us. I was miss independent by this point, raising a baby, taking care of the home, working part time, and taking care of anything else they may have come along. I was so accustomed to doing everything on my own, that I didn't know how to do things with my husband. My husband finally pointed out to me that he felt like I just walked around him, and never needed his help, and that's exactly what I was doing. My life was on auto-pilot and I wasn't use to having help. Matthew was also struggling with a lot on his own, for the first two years of being a married man and father he was away from 98% of it, so to come home from a war stricken Iraq and into a home with a toddler who is walking around talking, and a wife who he once knew as a young girl, has now become a mature independant mother was a bit of a shock to him. All the while my husband was spending three months at this class, 2 weeks in the field, 6 weeks at another class, 1 week in the field...etc etc. The year after deployment he spent 180 days in the field, and several months away at classes the military sen him to. After we learned how to work together as one unit, and became a very loving couple I became pregnant with our 2nd child late 2004. With another deployment looming for his unit, mid way through my pregnancy my husband came down on orders to become a recruiter. We were really excited about this because that meant he would be able to be there for the birth of his second son (which we were told was a girl, but this story is for another blog) and as a recruiter that meant no deploying for three years!
We arrived to Kansas City Mo. in Aug of 2005, just 3 weeks after I gave birth to our son Trace. My husband began recruiting out of St. Joseph Missouri, and we moved onto the base in Fort Leavenworth Kansas. Thing seemed to go ok for the first 6 months, but plumeted quickly there after. Matthew was working 6 days a week, leaving the house before everyone was awake, and getting home way after the boys had been put to bed. I always refer to this time in my life as a "single mother by default." At the time I resented my husband for never being home. I was left to do everything once again, this time with two kids...not an easy task. I was once again working part time, with the help of my mother in law who lived only 30 minutes away, would watch the boys for me while I worked. Matthew and I often talk about how the two of us lived totally seperate lives those three years, and have completly different memories of our time there. This, however is NOT a condusive way to build a strong marriage! We began to drift apart once again, and were really battling on if things were going to work out between the two of us, when my husband got orders to Naples, Italy. I had to make the decision if I was going to move myself and our two boys to a forgien country, with a man I had been butting heads with for the past 2 years. In the end my husband found out he would be deploying once again within 2 months after arriving in Italy. So, my boys and I moved to Ohio for a year and lived with my father. This had to of been the hardest year of my life, and a year I grew the most as a wife, mother, and woman. I wasn't sure where my marriage was headed, but as my husband deployed, and all I could do was worry about him, I knew he was and always would be my best friend. After the deployment, and our oldest finished first grade, I flew alone with two children all the way to Naples, Italy. This is where our military journey has led us....I will end this section of my blog for now, but have many things to say about our time here in Naples. I really want to blog about all the things people don't tell you about this place most people think is a paradise. I'm getting out the camera, stay tuned.....
Thanks for reading what has become somewhat of a novel of my life. A lot of details have been left out, as not to bore you with too much info, but I hope you enjoyed having a small look into the life of a military wife and mother, and enjoy reading everything else I decide to blog about:)!!! Ciao for now...
